Hopes in Living Hell - KouKrow

 This mask I wear, 

Won't last forever, 

I need to see its flaws, 

Or it'll take me in its jaws,

But I won't go down,

Without no fight,

Maybe I'll just drown, 

But at least I tried, 

There's no escaping, 

This madness I live in,

Please let me make it,

Because I just can't help but sin to survive,

Leave me to my sins,

I'll use needles and pins,

To numb the pain I feel,

Tell me, is this real?

I see old ghosts,

'Long since become a host,

To a demon full of hunger,

Starved and in need of slumber,

He whispers sweet nothings to me,

Enticing, tempting me to be free,

But freedom isn't worth it,

If it means I've hurt my friends,

My split personalities argue inside of me, 

Over and over, never ceasing,

"Let us free! Let us show them all we're not so holy"

"No, you're going to hurt them! Quit your teasing!"

"Hey, guys, let's just lay down and sleep forever!"

"I miss them..."

"Yo! I have an idea! Let's go kill a Prince together!"

"I wonder if platypuses have shins?..."

My mind is a randomised, jumbled mess,

On constant dial-up, wondering what I'm doing,

Negative and Positive thoughts overlapping, standing here in black dress,

A funeral for my sanity held in my mind every morning and night,

My mind is confused,

My heart is strained,

Again, I've been used,

Feeling like my life's being drained,

Crushing responsibility and lack of motivation,

Relationships stressing me out, 

High standards and strong expectation,

No clue what you're talking about??

Let me be, set me free, 

Leave me to my pain, 

To the sorrows that control me, 

The monsters in my brain,

I act like I'm fine,

Like the monsters aren't there,

When really I'm clearly lying,

And my words seem unfair.

I'm sorry that I lie,

I'm sorry for my smile,

It isn't genuine half the time,

But I will never say I'm sorry,

That, because of you, I'll still last for quite a while.

My hope,

My dream,

You've lent me your rope,

Even if I'm not all that I seem.

You're my living hope in a world of horrors,

My guiding light in the darkness of sorrow.

You give me so much yet take so little,

I hope I can be better soon, so I won't hurt you again tomorrow..